Bubbles

id like you to meet bubbles!!!

my first patient. hahaha. i performed tail docking on her. sa surgery class namin.

i soooo...love her. spoiled nga yang aso na yan. nasa bahay siya ngayon kasi ako yung surgeon niya, kaya ako ang nag-aalaga sa kanya.

ang cute cute niya. sana sa akin na lang siya. i'll return her tomorrow sa real master niya. :( sana lang, kung paano ko inalagaan si bubbles, ganun di ang pag-alaga nila. hehehe. :)

i'll miss her.

They're gone.

it is so sad. i thought this would be a fun, nice, happy day. but its not.

i woke up 8am to go to school because the president of our organization told us that we we're going to participate in the Oplan Linis of the classroom in our campus. And one of our brod will have his thesis defense and they asked me if i could buy the chicken. so, i said Ok.

to make the long story short, we did that. tiring but it was fun. after we did the oplan linis which took us like 10mins only. hahaha. then, we ate in the canteen.

then we've decided to go to SM north to...actually wala lang. bonding lang daw. we went to quantum, naglaro ako. i spent 75 pesos sa arcade. laro laro. Nag-enjoy ako sobra. Kasama ko pa si um. hahaha. then we ate at KFC, then we went to encore at kumanta, videoke. :)

may nangyari pa ngang di inaasahan. kung ano man yun, sa amin na lang yun. ;)

when i got home, isang masamang balita ang lumantad sa akin. my dog, inkee died today. :(

sumama talaga ang pakiramdam ko. nasa laguna ung aso ko, and i was planning to go home on friday.

sa ngayon, sobrang lungkot ko. teary eye nga ako. hindi man lang ako hinintay. T.T

i love inkee so much. he's the reason why i finally decided to take veterinary medicine, for the simplest reason...gusto kong ako ang maging personal vet niya pagdating ng panahon...ako ang gagamot sa kanya. but then he left me. hindi ko siya nakita. i last saw him may 12.

im crying while typing. its so sad. i hope he's happy in pet heaven with God and with our other dogs who have died.

i feel bad.

and then last saturday, my cat, licca was gone. its because mom ran over it. actually hindi naman sinagasaan. muntik na, buti na lang pinaforward ni kuya yung kotse para makatakas yung pusa. kahit hindi ko nakita, alam ko nasugatan siya at napilayan. gusto ko sanang alagaan at gamutin kaso nawawala na. hindi na bumalik, kahit na nagbibigay na ko ng madaming pagkain...ibang pusa ang dumadating.

hindi ko na alam kung nasan siya. at kung nasan man siya, i hope he's okay. im preparing that cat for my surgery subject sana. :(

to end this blog, i just wanted to say:

i love and will miss you inkee and licca. you will stay in my heart forever. T.T

Thank you God. and please take good care of them. Thank you. Thank you. :)

the status of my heart

mukang napapadalas na ang pag-blog ko. eto lang kasi ang paraan ko para mailabas ang nararamdaman ko. dito kasi nasasabi ko ang lahat. wala naman kasing nakakabasa nito...kaya dito ko lang nasasabi lahat ng nararamdaman ko.

parang kelan lang lahat ng taong nakapaligid sa akin in love...ngayon naman, puro break up ang naririnig ko. hay! pag-ibig nga naman.

nakita ko siya ngayon. nakakainis nga eh. akala ko ok na ko. hindi pala. magaling nga siguro akong magtago ng nararamdaman. pero ok lang talaga ako. kailangan lang mapag-isa.

i want to share this quote sent by a highschool friend: I missed the day when tying my shoe was the hardest thing i had to do. now.. its learning how to smile, when everything inside me... tells me to cry.

thats the status of my heart lately...sad, broken, angry, crying...

ang hirap palang magmahal ng isang kaibigan. may outing kami sa monday. sa batangas. parang ayoko ng sumama, kasi baka may mangyari na ikakagulat ko, at baka hindi ko kayanin ang mararamdaman ko. isa pa, gusto ko rin mapag-isa. hindi ko alam kung pano ko gagawin un dun, pero gusto ko talagang mapag-isa. ang tanga ko kasi eh. anong gagawin ko?! kung lagi ko siyang nakikita, pano ko makakalimutan ang nararamdaman ko? pero ok lang, bakasyon na eh..hindi ko na siya makikita kahit kailan...

gusto kong umiyak. pero bakit? because of rejection??? siguro.

on the lighter side, gusto ko na lang magpakasaya. at mahalin ang sarili ko. at ang mga alaga ko. hindi ko naman siya kailangan. kaya kong mabuhay ng wala siya. after nga pala ng batangas, pupunta ata kami ng family ko sa puerto galera. yehey!!! a time to be alone, a time to reflect and think!!!

i have this wild plan, na kung hindi ako sasama sa batangas, ung pera ko na pangbatangas gagastusin ko papuntang....puerto ng mag-isa. as in ako lang. kahit pamilya wala. gusto ko pa ngang pumuntang cebu at bohol..o kaya sa palawan ulit..or sa baguio. kaso wala akong matitirhan. tapos 1500 lang ung ibibigay sa akin. hehehe:) basta gusto kong pumunta sa lugar na walang nakakakilala sa akin. hahaha:)

ayoko na. magiging selfish muna ako..at sarili ko muna ang mamahalin ko. hindi na ko muna magmamahal ngayon. wala muna.

Theme Songs for the Day

Lauren Christy Steep

Softly, gently, I will let you downCause I don't love you in the same way nowI can hold you but not with lover's armsCause you are more of a brother to me nowAnd I can lie next to you, but I can't lie to youSo walk into the sun and watch meRun into the rain,For you the future's easy, so don't weep, for me it's gettingSteepI loved you for exactly who you are,And I'd say you've come the nearest yet by far,And I can lie next tou you, but I can't lie to youSo walk into the sun and watch meRun into the rain,For you the future's easy, so don't weep, for me it's gettingSteeper and in the dark that's where I want to beDeeper, I'm going somewhere you won't want to see...So walk into the sun and watch meRun into the rain,For you the future's easy, so don't weepYes I will watch you,Walk into the sun and watch meRun into the rain dropsFor you the future's easy, so don't weepFor me it's getting Steep.

Norah Jones Dont Know Why

I waited 'til I saw the sunI don't know why I didn't comeI left you by the house of funI don't know why I didn't comeI don't know why I didn't comeWhen I saw the break of dayI wished that I could fly awayInstead of kneeling in the sandCatching teardrops in my handMy heart is drenched in wineBut you'll be on my mindForeverOut across the endless seaI would die in ecstasyBut I'll be a bag of bonesDriving down the road alongMy heart is drenched in wineBut you'll be on my mindForeverSomething has to make you runI don't know why I didn't comeI feel as empty as a drumI don't know why I didn't comeI don't know why I didn't comeI don't know why I didn't come

Love Hurts by: Nazareth
Love hurts, love scars,Love wounds, and marks,Any heart, not tough,Or strong, enough To take a lot of pain,Take a lot of painLove is like a cloudHolds a lot of rainLove hurts, ooh ooh love hurts Im young, I know,But even so I know a thing, or two I learned, from you I really learned a lot,Really learned a lot Love is like a flame It burns you when its hot Love hurts, ooh ooh love hurts Some fools think of happiness Blissfulness, togetherness Some fools fool themselves I guess Theyre not foolin me I know it isnt true,I know it isnt trueLove is just a lie,Made to make you blueLove hurts, ooh,ooh love hurtsOoh,ooh love hurts I know it isnt true,I know it isnt true Love is just a lie,Made to make you blue Love hurts, ooh ooh love hurts Ooh ooh love hurts Ooh ooh...

Someday by: Nina
Someday you'll gonna realize One day you'll see through my eyes But then i won't even be there I'll be happy somewhere Even if i can't I know You dont really see my worth You think your the last guy on earth Well i've got news for you I know i'm not that strong But it won't take long Won't take long Coz someday, someone's gonna love me The way, i want you to need me Someday, someone's gonna take your place One day i'll forget about you You'll see, i won't even miss you Someday, someday But now I know you can't tell I'm down,and i'm not down anyway But one day these tears They will all run dry I won't have to cry Sweet goodbye Coz someday, someone's gonna love me The way, i want you to need me Someday, someone's gonna take your place One day i'll forget about you You'll see, i won't even miss you Someday, someday.

*~*

ang pag-ibig nga naman. hindi ko alam kung ano ang dapat kong maramdaman. ang gulo. nasaktan nga ako ng sobra. pero bakit? wala naman siyang ginawa. o tanga lang talaga ako? sa ngayon, gusto ko talagang mapag-isa. :(

im ok...im ok...im really ok...im not ok.

ang buhay nga naman, puno ng mga sorpresa. kagaya ngayong araw na to. ayoko ng pag-usapan baka maiyak pa ko. pero to sum it up...im not ok. sa mga nalaman ko ngayon. ewan ko. pero kaya ko to.

ng dahil sa balitang yun, nawalan ako ng ganang mag-aral. sana hindi ko na lang kinausap. sana hindi ko na lang tinanong. pero lalo ko pang pinush. pero ok lang. ok lang talaga. ganun ang buhay.

kailangan ko ng outlet. food! T.T

lately ive been really moody. one minute im happy, the next im mad, then sad...and the list go on.
naiinis na ako sa sarili ko. hindi lang sa sarili ko, minsan naiinis na ko sa mga tao sa paligid ko...lalo na sa mom ko.

ewan ko ba. basta...ayoko siyang kausapin. dahil...nagkabanggaan na kami 2 weeks ago. at nasaktan talaga ako. muntik na nga ako maglayas nun eh, matutulog ako sa isang kaibigan..kaso hindi siya nag-reply. toink! o.O hahaha:) simula nun, malamig na ang pakikitungo ko.

kaya gusto ko laging mapag-isa at mag-isip isip sa buhay ko.

stress

ive been stressed this year. take note, hindi lang weeks...kasisimula pa lang ng taon, stressful na sa part ko.

unang stress: final report sa farm records and accounting. instead na written exam, magrereport kami. idedefend pa. large ruminant pa ang napuntang report sa amin. accounting pare..hindi ko pinangarap maging accountant..at kahit kelan ayoko. ang hirap. grabe ung stress ko nung mga panahon na yan. natutulog na ko ng umaga. waah! pero tapos na!

pangalawang stress: case report sa special pathology. basta, nakakastress. not to mention, hindi naging maganda ang pagdefend namin sa ikinamatay ng tiger. darn! babagsak pa ata ako. :( T.T.. nakakastress kaya yung araw na yun. may class ako ng 9:10-10:40, 10:50-12:30, exam sa physio ng 12:30-1:00, tapos defense na ng 1-4. hindi na nga ako naglunch eh. pero, wala..manhid na ata ako ng araw na yun. :(

sadness

akala ko ok kami. mali pala. tama nga ang sinabi nila, mahirap mahalin ang taong hindi ka naman mahal o gusto. nung narinig ko yun, sabi ko sa isip ko...ouch!

dati lagi kaming nag-uusap. parang ang saya pa nga eh. pero, nahinto un. tuwing nakikita ko siya, natutuwa ako. pero...bihira na kami mag-usap.

ang gulo. ang mahirap pa nun, pag kaibigan mo ang mahal mo. ouch talaga.

...natatakot akong malaman niya ang nararamdaman ko. pano kung ireject niya ko, handa ba ko? crush pa niya ata ung kaibigan ko. ouch!!!:(

...iniiwasan ko na nga siya, para medyo mawala ang nararamdaman. para bumalik ang lahat sa dati. pero pagkasama ko siya, gusto kong huminto ang mundo at oras at makasama na lang siya. corny, pero totoo.

siguro yan din ang dahilan kung bakit inom ako ng inom ng redhorse. hahahaha:) pahinga na ngayon ang atay ko, kasi exam week. hehehe:)

faith

minsan tuloy, nagagalit ako sa mundo. sa mga nangyayari ngayon. kasisimula pa lang ng taon. ang malas na. ang sama na. pero anong magagawa ko. kailangang tatagan ang loob. isa pa kasing mali sa akin, hindi ako relihiyoso. i rarely pray to God. yes, rarely. pag nagadasal siguro ako, grabe ang pangangailangan ko nun. ang sama ko.

kung nakakausap lang siguro ako ni God, kinatok na niya ang puso ko. siguro un ang kulang sa buhay ko. Faith. naniniwala ako sa kanya, pero walang faith. :(

kailangan ko ng magbago. at susubukan ko...mali, dapat kung gawin. pero mahirap mangako...lalo na kung hindi naman tutuparin.:(

Love just can be simple

but its complicated.

never expect...

dont let emotions get in the way...

God is soooo good to me. whenever im starting to fall for someone, something will happen that would make me realize... HE'S NOT THE ONE...:(

like right now.

he is such a pain in the ass

ewan. naiinis ako. basta naiinis na ko. hindi na ba siya nagsasawa sa pang-aasar sa akin?

argh!!! nakakainis talaga!!!

something funny and disappointing(?):

finally, i've watched last night The DaVinci Code. it was a great movie just like the book. the thrill and action was there. not to mention a woman was screaming when Silas attacked.

there was nothing to worry about the movie. i just plain fiction and just a story. whats important is what you believe in. as for me, nothing has change in my faith to God and Jesus. whether Jesus and Mary Magdalene has a relationship. again, whats important is what you believe.

one thing since it was R18 here in the Philippines, we managed to make my 15 yr old sister look 18 yrs old. the funny part was that the ticket lady thought i wasnt 18 yet. she asked if i am 18 already, and i said 'uh actually im 20'. i dont know if thats a good complement. oh well, thats good i look young. haha:)

and because i watched last night, i failed on my quiz in histology today. and i didnt study for my finals in inorganic chemistry. haha:) but i think i will pass. :)

something sad:

my pet mice, einstein, died last monday. its really sad. i dont know why he died. he's not sick. he's still ok the night before. :( and today, my siberian hamster, cybie, also died. same as einstein, i dont know why he died. they're all ok. i feed them regularly and even talk to them for them not to feel lonely. i clean there cages regularly, but why? :(

on the lighter side, i guess there happy...in pet heaven (i guess).