letting it out.

maybe its time for me to just say it. bahala na kung anong mangyari. sabi nga ng iba, sabihin mo...pag nireject ka, e di..kalimutan mo na. ok so here it goes...

i like him. really like. at minsan, mararamdaman mo na lang na...parang siya na. siya na ung meant for you. its weird though. naging crush ko na siya, tapos nawala kasi hindi ko na siya nakikita, and we're both busy na kahit sa text hindi na kami nagkakausap. graduate na kasi eh. pero for the second time, cupid hit me again. (wish ko lang cupid, pati siya panain mo para saken!) at gaya nga ng forwarded quote niya: a successful relationship requires falling in love many times...only with the same person.


un un eh. kinilig kaya ako nung natanggap ko yan. hehehe!!! =)

i've known him since, uh 2006. nung una, parang ayoko sa kanya. kasi mukhang mayabang. tapos, pinahihirapan pa ko. natutuwa siya pag pinahihirapan niya ko. pero, hindi naman ako nahihirapan kasi lalake ata ako. hahahaha. pero nung nagtagal na, ahihihi (kinikilig ako!) naging close na kami. syempre nagstart sa text (lagi naman eh. forward lang ng forward ng mga quotes, jokes etc. dahil yan sa Globe Unlitxt. iba talaga pag unlimited, kelangang sulitin.)

weird nga kami eh, kasi sa text parang ang dami naming pinaguusapan, pero pag magkasama na kami (with friends, of course) eh, parang ang konti lang ng words. wala masyadong pinaguusapan. maybe because, nandun ung friends. kaya wala kaming moment na kaming dalawa lang. hahahaha.

and as time flies...aun ganun pa rin. nagstart lang sa jokes. the corniest jokes. believe it or not, nagpapalitan kami sa text ng jokes. para sa iba, parang its a waste of time. kasi ang corny naman ng joke. pero magkatext kami buong araw hanggang gabi, at puro jokes lang un. parang banatan ng joke. pa cornihan. and to think na christmas pa nun.

at kinikilig ako tuwing magkatext kami. kahit na puro asaran, kagaguhan, kalokohan, kabastusan ang pinaguusapan namin, kinikilig pa rin ako. take note...wala romance dun. ung time lang na ginugugol niya para makipagtext or magtext eh...kinikilig na ko. whahahaha. naiisip ko nga lang siya kinikilig na ko.

and lately, bago matapos ang school year...araw araw ko ata siyang katext. and ganun pa rin kami, barahan, gaguhan, bastusan, bolahan etc. at nung Holy Week lang, magkatext din kami. medio may konting kagaguhan at bastusan, pero in fairness, medio mature na. hahahahaha. mala 'question and answer portion' na ang texts. a learning experience nga. nakakatuwa, at nag joke pa siya. sobrang corny, pero bumenta sakin. natawa talaga ako at kinikilig talaga ako. hehehe!

plus, nung nag out-of-town trip kami. kinikilig din ako. siguro akin na lang ung details. hahahahaha. (note: walang romance na nangyari!! wholesome tayo. na-touch lang talaga ako sa deed na ginawa niya at sa text niya.)

masyado kaming, or rather ako na lang, discreet pag kasama namin ung friends namin. wala namang nakakaalam na lagi kong katext un or nakakatext un.

pero lately, i dont know. i get jelous! oo, selosa ako. inaamin ko na ngayon. thank you sa friendster...dahil it made it possible for me to view ko kung ano man un.
sabi niya, wala daw un. friends lang. at hindi daw siya ganun. with matching 'hindeee!' kinukulit lang daw siya blah blah blah. and i would just reply, 'sabi mo eh.' nakakainis daw ako.

medyo nakonsensya ako. kasi naman, una hindi naman niya ko gf! tanga di ba? pinukpok ko nga ung ulo ko eh. pangalawa, hindi din naman niya ko nililigawan. and third, hindi ko siya pag-aari. right? so baket ako magseselos? pero, yes hanggang ngayon, i am jelous. kasi naman ung girl pala ung gumawa ng friendster niya, tapos inadd ko siya mga 2nd week ng march, and until now hindi pa niya inaaccept ung request ko! ang nakalagay sa profile niya is, last login: 1 week. siguro ung girl ang nagbukas. kaya aun.

but i said sorry. inasar pa niya ko after i said it. he said, ganun talaga pag cute. kapal!

but, yes! i like him. he always give me this kilig kahit na wala namang romantic atmosphere sa paligid. and if i were given a chance, if ever lang naman, between him and my uber crush, siya ang pipiliin ko. walang dalawang isip.

pero, as of now, ok na ko sa ganito. hindi ko man alam ang nararamdaman niya, pero anong magagawa ko. eh ayaw sabihin. at i think, alam niyang crush ko siya. nung nag out-of-town kami, ung isa naming kaibigan, pinaggigiitan na crush ko siya. kahit i-deny ko...wala lang. tahimik lang siya, ngingiti-ngiti.

and yes, i crush you. oo, ikaw. (as if mababasa niya to.)

sa ngayon, wala na naman kaming communication kasi...he's working. =)

ps. hindi ako inlove. ayoko ng puso.hearts. hehe. =)

this is

i was googling on yahoo and i read this:
Kitten survives trip in shipping crate

AP Photo: Ayse Casson holds a malnourished kitten at the Animal Protective League shelter in Cleveland Friday,...

Sat Mar 8, 1:22 AM ET
CLEVELAND - A scrawny, black and white female kitten has apparently survived a trip across the Pacific Ocean and North America inside a shipping crate. Cleveland Animal Protective League Executive Director Sharon Harvey says a Cleveland company that received the crate of spooled steel coil Friday found the kitten inside one the spools.

Harvey says the mother cat and other kittens found in the crate were dead. The crate came to Samsel Supply Co. from Singapore. It was sealed Feb. 4 and shipped three days later.
The approximately 12-week-old kitten has been checked by a veterinarian and has responded well to being fed.
It will be kept in quarantine for about three weeks to make sure it doesn't pass any infectious disease to other animals.

grabe. nakakaawa ung cat. can you just imagine. tapos nakakaiyak kasi namatay ung mother and other kittens. :(

Bubbles

id like you to meet bubbles!!!

my first patient. hahaha. i performed tail docking on her. sa surgery class namin.

i soooo...love her. spoiled nga yang aso na yan. nasa bahay siya ngayon kasi ako yung surgeon niya, kaya ako ang nag-aalaga sa kanya.

ang cute cute niya. sana sa akin na lang siya. i'll return her tomorrow sa real master niya. :( sana lang, kung paano ko inalagaan si bubbles, ganun di ang pag-alaga nila. hehehe. :)

i'll miss her.

100th post :)

this is my 100th post. hahahaha. ang dami ko na palang nailagay dito. at ngayon magkukwento ako. hahaha. natutuwa lang talaga ako ngayon.

kaklase ko yung crush ko sa isang subject. wahahaha. pero medyo nadismaya ako ng marinig ko na may gf na ata siya, though its not sure. pero naiisip ko din naman na imposibleng walang gf yun. db?! pero ganun ako, pag nalaman kong yung crush ko may gf na, nawawala na lang yung, uhm pagnanasa? wahahaha. its a joke. basta nawawala na yung kilig. :) at ang shonga ko talaga, kasi nung binanggit yun, tumingin pa ko sa kanya. nakakahiya. >.<

on the brighter side...
may isa pa kong crush eh. eto medyo ka-close ko, or ka-close ko talaga. grabe, nakasama ko siyang magsimba sa school. at sabay pa kaming nag-lunch...pero may isa pa kaming kaibigan na kasama :). first time ko din magsimba na iba ang kasama ko. so, wala lang. nakakatuwa.

habang nagdadasal nga, tinatanong ko si God, eto na ba to? pero siyempre, hindi ko na pinangunahan si God. Inalis ko na yung idea na yun. :) Bahala na Siya, kung sino ang ibibigay niya sa akin. wala lang. ang saya.

first time...
last tuesday, i met up with someone i just met thru multiply, because i bought a watch from her. it was my first time to buy something online. nakakatuwa. para lang akong may textmate at nakipagmeet ako. hahaha. its a weird feeling. really.

look, ang ganda nung watch. :) girl na girl. :)

Masayang Araw

ewan ko ba. basta masaya.

una, eto ang unang araw ng regular na klase. naka v-neck na kami na uniform (pang clinician) at white shoes. excited. mukhang kagalang-galang. hehehe. at nakita ko yung crush ko paakyat ng hagdan, bago ang uniform, at haaaaaay..ang gwapo niya sa mata ko. hahaha. pero di pa diyan nagtatapos.

ang klase ko tuwing monday ay hanggang 12:30 lang. yehey!!! after ng klase ko, diretso akong library kasi nandun yung mga friends ko, at hahaha ang crush ko. :)

after nun, umalis na kami sa school ng mga 5pm. una, naisip namin ni albino na mag-gateway, pero sabi ko sm north na lang, kasi nahihirapan akong sumakay ng jeep papuntang diliman ng mga ganung oras. so nag sm north kami.

bibili din ako ng school supplies, kasi hanggang kanina wala pa kong gamit sa school. hahaha. at thank you card pala para sa lola ko. :) ng biglang pagliko ko sa may mga notebooks, nakita ko yung kaibigan niya tapos siya nakatalikod. nagulat ako. err, di ko alam kung tutuloy ba ko o eh hindi. nahiya ako.

basta nakakahiya. hindi ko lang alam kung nakita niya ko, pero tingin ko, oo. hahaha.

crush ko talaga yun. ewan ko ba. basta ang saya. unexpected kasi. kinikilig ako. hahaha:) pero crush lang, asa pa ko. tingin ko err, may gf na yun eh. hahaha:)

goodnight!!!

They're gone.

it is so sad. i thought this would be a fun, nice, happy day. but its not.

i woke up 8am to go to school because the president of our organization told us that we we're going to participate in the Oplan Linis of the classroom in our campus. And one of our brod will have his thesis defense and they asked me if i could buy the chicken. so, i said Ok.

to make the long story short, we did that. tiring but it was fun. after we did the oplan linis which took us like 10mins only. hahaha. then, we ate in the canteen.

then we've decided to go to SM north to...actually wala lang. bonding lang daw. we went to quantum, naglaro ako. i spent 75 pesos sa arcade. laro laro. Nag-enjoy ako sobra. Kasama ko pa si um. hahaha. then we ate at KFC, then we went to encore at kumanta, videoke. :)

may nangyari pa ngang di inaasahan. kung ano man yun, sa amin na lang yun. ;)

when i got home, isang masamang balita ang lumantad sa akin. my dog, inkee died today. :(

sumama talaga ang pakiramdam ko. nasa laguna ung aso ko, and i was planning to go home on friday.

sa ngayon, sobrang lungkot ko. teary eye nga ako. hindi man lang ako hinintay. T.T

i love inkee so much. he's the reason why i finally decided to take veterinary medicine, for the simplest reason...gusto kong ako ang maging personal vet niya pagdating ng panahon...ako ang gagamot sa kanya. but then he left me. hindi ko siya nakita. i last saw him may 12.

im crying while typing. its so sad. i hope he's happy in pet heaven with God and with our other dogs who have died.

i feel bad.

and then last saturday, my cat, licca was gone. its because mom ran over it. actually hindi naman sinagasaan. muntik na, buti na lang pinaforward ni kuya yung kotse para makatakas yung pusa. kahit hindi ko nakita, alam ko nasugatan siya at napilayan. gusto ko sanang alagaan at gamutin kaso nawawala na. hindi na bumalik, kahit na nagbibigay na ko ng madaming pagkain...ibang pusa ang dumadating.

hindi ko na alam kung nasan siya. at kung nasan man siya, i hope he's okay. im preparing that cat for my surgery subject sana. :(

to end this blog, i just wanted to say:

i love and will miss you inkee and licca. you will stay in my heart forever. T.T

Thank you God. and please take good care of them. Thank you. Thank you. :)

Feelings That Were Kept...

These past few weeks...months, I’ve been thinking two persons. And I don’t know why I’m thinking them. So, yeah I have to let it out.

Meron akong crush na naging kaklase ko. I know this sounds corny, pero napapahinto ang mundo ko pagnakikita, nakakasalubong ko siya. Haha. Pero believe it or not, never pa kaming nag-usap. Sigh. And believe it or not, yung mga kaibigan niya nakausap ko na pero siya hindi pa. L at sa pasukan, hindi ko na siya kaklase kasi nasa kabilang section na ko. Wala nanaman akong pagkakataon na makausap siya. Sigh again.

Yung isa naman, kabaliktaran. Ka-close ko. Katext ko pa nga minsan. Tinuturing ko ngang bestfriend pero di niya alam. Haha. Kaso ang labo nun eh, sa text ang daldal pero pag magkaharap na kami, parang pili yung mga words na sinasabi. At nasaktan na niya ko. Ang labo ngang kausap nun eh, parang sinabi niya na crush yung kaibigan ko tapos binabawi na. Ang labo. pero, oo, close talaga kami. Basta masaya naman siya kausap. May humor naman kahit papano. Mabait at matalino. Marami ding atang nagkakagusto dun eh ewan kung bakit. Haha..

Ayun. Hahaha. Either way walang mangyayari. Asa pa ko. ~hahaha

Nanaginip pa nga ako eh. Pero weird. Unang scene si guy no. 1 tapos pangalawang scene si guy no. 2. ay ang weird talaga.

Grabe.

God knows everything.

Salty Coffee

its a love story. a friend has sent it in my friendster inbox and i would like to share it to you. :)

He met her on a party. She was so outstanding, many guys chasing after her, while he so normal, nobody paid attention to him. At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised, but due to being polite, she promised. They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was too nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, she thought, please, let me go home.... suddenly he asked the waiter. "would you please give me some salt? I'd like to put it in my coffee." Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red, but still, he put the salt in his coffee and drank it. She asked him curiously; why you have this hobby? He replied: "whenI was a little boy, I was living near the sea, I like playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea, just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty coffee, I always think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my hometown so much, I miss my parents who are still living there". While saying that tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched. That's his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can tell out his
homesickness, he must be a man who loves home, cares about home, has responsibility of home. Then she also started to speak, spoke about her faraway hometown, her childhood, her
family. That was a really nice talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story. They continued to date. She found that actually he was a man who meets all her demands; he had tolerance, was kind hearted, warm, careful. He was such a good person but she almost missed him! Thanks to his salty coffee! Then the story was just like every beautiful love story , the princess married to the prince, then they were living the happy life... And, every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee e, as she knew that's the way he liked it. After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said: "My dearest, please forgive me,
forgive my whole life lie. This was the only lie I said to you--- the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt. It was hard for me to change so I just went ahead.I never thought that could be the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was
too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you for anything.. Now I'm dying, I afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth: I don't like the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste.. But I have had the salty coffee for my whole life! Since I knew you, I never feel sorry for anything I do for you. " Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life. If I can live for the
second time, still want to know you and have you for my whole life,even though I have to drink the salty coffee again". Her tears made the letter totally wet.Someday, someone asked her: what's the taste of salty coffee? It's sweet. She replied. Love is not 2 forget but 2 forgive, not 2 c but 2 understand, not 2 hear but 2 listen, not 2 let go but 2 HOLD ON !!!! Don't ever leave the one you love for the one you like, because the one you like will leave you for the one they love. Tonight your true love will realize how much they love you between 1 and 4 in the morning.

i love the beach

sa sobrang gusto ko ng dagat, exams week palang sa school, un na ang iniisip ko. wala ang utak ko sa subjects ko kundi nasa dagat na. :)

march 26 ang alis namin. pero sunday march 25 pa lang, umalis na ko. excited. natulog na ko sa apartment ng kaibigan namin. dun din kasi ang meeting place. madami-dami din ang natulog dun (ako, mark, carlo, ronnie at ung mga may-ari ng apt na sina caloy, billy, melanie at ate joy). excited kaming lahat. natulog kami 12 nagising kami 5. nagayos pa kasi ng mga kakainin at lulutuin nung gabi kaya medyo late na kami natulog. 6am ang alis namin pero kasi hinintay pa namin ung iba kaya 7 or 7:30 na kami naka-alis.

ang haba ng biyahe. dumating kami sa place mga 2:30 or 3pm na. naaksidente pa kami on the way. pero buti na lang walang nasaktan. si mark daw nagasgasan. hahaha:) at sa wakas nakita ko na ang dagat. ang presko. ang sarap ng hangin.:)

waw. ang ganda. pangarap ko talagang magtayo ng bahay malapit sa dagat. ang saya kasi. at ang tahimik. parang ang fresh pa ng air. basta ang sarap amuyin ng dagat kahit maalat. :)

may nakilala pa kong 2 bata. si Cassy /ka-si/ at si kuya. si cassy anak nung may-ari ng tindahan. si kuya kaibigan ni cassy. ang cute ng mga batang to. nagkwentuhan kami at tinulungan ko silang kunin ung jolens sa gran matador.;p masaya daw tumira malapit sa dagat.:) i agree.;p

ang saya talaga. marami pang pictures sa MULTIPLY ko. 3 days kami dun. pero bitin ako. gusto ko pang tumagal dun. matatagalan nanaman kasi ung balik namin dun. next summer pa ulit.

until next summer। ang brown ko na। hehehe॥ tapos sa holy week pupunta kami ng family ko sa puerto galera. yahoo!!

i love the beach talaga। someday, pag yumaman na ko, at may pamilya na ko. magkakaroon kami ng bahay malapit sa dagat.;p pero sobrang tagal pa nun. mga 20yrs pa. hahaha:)

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dagdag na lang। i did wake boarding. haha..ang saya pala nun. kaya lang ang daming sugat nung tuhod ko, pagnadadapa ako sa sand. medio mabato eh. pero ang saya, nakakapagod. pwede kang pumayat.:)

i also got drunk. ikaw ba naman uminom ng 2 boteng vodka mudshake, 2 boteng san mig light at 2 boteng gran matador..kung hindi ka tamaan. ang ingay ko nga eh. halatang lasing na. naglaro pa kami ni lan. nawawala kasi ung tsinelas ko tapos lasing na nga kaming lahat, pag tinatanong ako ni lan zeny tsinelas mo ba to? sagot ko hinde. ibabato namin ung tsinelas sa malayo. hahaha..maingay talaga ako paglasing pero aware ako sa nangyayari sa paligid ko.;p

hay. i miss it there.

Yehey. Masaya nanaman ako.^_______^

hahaha. masaya na ulit ako. bukod sa last day na kahapon sa school, eh wala lang. hahahaha:) nakalimutan ko na ung nararamdaman ko dun sa taong un. hahahaha:) at pumasa ako sa pathology lecture namin. hahahaha:) tumalon ako sa labas ng faculty room nung nalaman ko. daig ko pa ang isang lalakeng sinagot ng nililigawan niya. hahahaha:) OA!

after nun, nagtext si mark. punta daw sila ng school, tapos punta daw kami sa bahay ni sandra. pumunta muna kami sa apartment nina caloy. mag 5pm na kami umalis sa apt nina caloy papunta sa bahay ni sandra. pagdating dun, nagluto sila ng curry rice, relyenong(tama ba spelling) bangus na naging ginisang ground pork dahil kay mark, at bangus shanghai!!! wow ang sarap.

at 9pm, bumili kami ng 6 na bote ng redhorse at yelo. at inuman to death. hahahaha:) nagbonding lang kami. nagkwentuhan ng mga buhay-buhay. naglabas ng mga sama ng loob. at nagdamayan. hahahaha:)

ang saya nga eh. ang sarap pa sa bahay nina sandra. ang presko.

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nung nagiinuman kami, napunta kami sa part ng mga crushes at love ones. hahahaha.. umamin siya..na naging crush niya ko. hahahaha:) syempre nakaka-flutter. pero nawala kasi alam niyang hindi magwowork. hehehe:)

kung alam lang niya, na naging crush ko din siya. hahahaha:) pero hindi ko na sinabi. mas masaya kasi kung magkaibigan kami. laging nag-aasaran, pero pag may problema..nagdadamayan. and besides, wala na rin ung feeling ko sa kanya. hahahaha:)

ang sarap pala ng feeling na malaman mong may nagkaka-crush din sayo. hahahaha:)
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nakaalis na kami dun mga past 12 am na. nakarating ako sa bahay ng 1 am. tapos wala pala akong susi. kelangan ko tuloy gisingin mom ko. buti nalang hindi ako pinagalitan. hehehe:) pinaglinis lang ako ng bahay ngayon. hahaha:)
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bukas, sa apartment ako nina caloy matutulog...kasi sa monday hanggang wednesday..pupunta na kaming BATANGAS!!! whoooo!!! excited na ko. bonding moments nanaman to.
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kaya...masaya na ako ngayon. hindi ko na siya iniisip..at narealize ko, na mas importante ang pamilya at kaibigan kaysa sa love life. hahahaha:)
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kaya ngayon..wala munang boys. girls na lang. JOKE!!!:)

the status of my heart

mukang napapadalas na ang pag-blog ko. eto lang kasi ang paraan ko para mailabas ang nararamdaman ko. dito kasi nasasabi ko ang lahat. wala naman kasing nakakabasa nito...kaya dito ko lang nasasabi lahat ng nararamdaman ko.

parang kelan lang lahat ng taong nakapaligid sa akin in love...ngayon naman, puro break up ang naririnig ko. hay! pag-ibig nga naman.

nakita ko siya ngayon. nakakainis nga eh. akala ko ok na ko. hindi pala. magaling nga siguro akong magtago ng nararamdaman. pero ok lang talaga ako. kailangan lang mapag-isa.

i want to share this quote sent by a highschool friend: I missed the day when tying my shoe was the hardest thing i had to do. now.. its learning how to smile, when everything inside me... tells me to cry.

thats the status of my heart lately...sad, broken, angry, crying...

ang hirap palang magmahal ng isang kaibigan. may outing kami sa monday. sa batangas. parang ayoko ng sumama, kasi baka may mangyari na ikakagulat ko, at baka hindi ko kayanin ang mararamdaman ko. isa pa, gusto ko rin mapag-isa. hindi ko alam kung pano ko gagawin un dun, pero gusto ko talagang mapag-isa. ang tanga ko kasi eh. anong gagawin ko?! kung lagi ko siyang nakikita, pano ko makakalimutan ang nararamdaman ko? pero ok lang, bakasyon na eh..hindi ko na siya makikita kahit kailan...

gusto kong umiyak. pero bakit? because of rejection??? siguro.

on the lighter side, gusto ko na lang magpakasaya. at mahalin ang sarili ko. at ang mga alaga ko. hindi ko naman siya kailangan. kaya kong mabuhay ng wala siya. after nga pala ng batangas, pupunta ata kami ng family ko sa puerto galera. yehey!!! a time to be alone, a time to reflect and think!!!

i have this wild plan, na kung hindi ako sasama sa batangas, ung pera ko na pangbatangas gagastusin ko papuntang....puerto ng mag-isa. as in ako lang. kahit pamilya wala. gusto ko pa ngang pumuntang cebu at bohol..o kaya sa palawan ulit..or sa baguio. kaso wala akong matitirhan. tapos 1500 lang ung ibibigay sa akin. hehehe:) basta gusto kong pumunta sa lugar na walang nakakakilala sa akin. hahaha:)

ayoko na. magiging selfish muna ako..at sarili ko muna ang mamahalin ko. hindi na ko muna magmamahal ngayon. wala muna.

Theme Songs for the Day

Lauren Christy Steep

Softly, gently, I will let you downCause I don't love you in the same way nowI can hold you but not with lover's armsCause you are more of a brother to me nowAnd I can lie next to you, but I can't lie to youSo walk into the sun and watch meRun into the rain,For you the future's easy, so don't weep, for me it's gettingSteepI loved you for exactly who you are,And I'd say you've come the nearest yet by far,And I can lie next tou you, but I can't lie to youSo walk into the sun and watch meRun into the rain,For you the future's easy, so don't weep, for me it's gettingSteeper and in the dark that's where I want to beDeeper, I'm going somewhere you won't want to see...So walk into the sun and watch meRun into the rain,For you the future's easy, so don't weepYes I will watch you,Walk into the sun and watch meRun into the rain dropsFor you the future's easy, so don't weepFor me it's getting Steep.

Norah Jones Dont Know Why

I waited 'til I saw the sunI don't know why I didn't comeI left you by the house of funI don't know why I didn't comeI don't know why I didn't comeWhen I saw the break of dayI wished that I could fly awayInstead of kneeling in the sandCatching teardrops in my handMy heart is drenched in wineBut you'll be on my mindForeverOut across the endless seaI would die in ecstasyBut I'll be a bag of bonesDriving down the road alongMy heart is drenched in wineBut you'll be on my mindForeverSomething has to make you runI don't know why I didn't comeI feel as empty as a drumI don't know why I didn't comeI don't know why I didn't comeI don't know why I didn't come

Love Hurts by: Nazareth
Love hurts, love scars,Love wounds, and marks,Any heart, not tough,Or strong, enough To take a lot of pain,Take a lot of painLove is like a cloudHolds a lot of rainLove hurts, ooh ooh love hurts Im young, I know,But even so I know a thing, or two I learned, from you I really learned a lot,Really learned a lot Love is like a flame It burns you when its hot Love hurts, ooh ooh love hurts Some fools think of happiness Blissfulness, togetherness Some fools fool themselves I guess Theyre not foolin me I know it isnt true,I know it isnt trueLove is just a lie,Made to make you blueLove hurts, ooh,ooh love hurtsOoh,ooh love hurts I know it isnt true,I know it isnt true Love is just a lie,Made to make you blue Love hurts, ooh ooh love hurts Ooh ooh love hurts Ooh ooh...

Someday by: Nina
Someday you'll gonna realize One day you'll see through my eyes But then i won't even be there I'll be happy somewhere Even if i can't I know You dont really see my worth You think your the last guy on earth Well i've got news for you I know i'm not that strong But it won't take long Won't take long Coz someday, someone's gonna love me The way, i want you to need me Someday, someone's gonna take your place One day i'll forget about you You'll see, i won't even miss you Someday, someday But now I know you can't tell I'm down,and i'm not down anyway But one day these tears They will all run dry I won't have to cry Sweet goodbye Coz someday, someone's gonna love me The way, i want you to need me Someday, someone's gonna take your place One day i'll forget about you You'll see, i won't even miss you Someday, someday.

*~*

ang pag-ibig nga naman. hindi ko alam kung ano ang dapat kong maramdaman. ang gulo. nasaktan nga ako ng sobra. pero bakit? wala naman siyang ginawa. o tanga lang talaga ako? sa ngayon, gusto ko talagang mapag-isa. :(

im ok...im ok...im really ok...im not ok.

ang buhay nga naman, puno ng mga sorpresa. kagaya ngayong araw na to. ayoko ng pag-usapan baka maiyak pa ko. pero to sum it up...im not ok. sa mga nalaman ko ngayon. ewan ko. pero kaya ko to.

ng dahil sa balitang yun, nawalan ako ng ganang mag-aral. sana hindi ko na lang kinausap. sana hindi ko na lang tinanong. pero lalo ko pang pinush. pero ok lang. ok lang talaga. ganun ang buhay.

kailangan ko ng outlet. food! T.T

lately ive been really moody. one minute im happy, the next im mad, then sad...and the list go on.
naiinis na ako sa sarili ko. hindi lang sa sarili ko, minsan naiinis na ko sa mga tao sa paligid ko...lalo na sa mom ko.

ewan ko ba. basta...ayoko siyang kausapin. dahil...nagkabanggaan na kami 2 weeks ago. at nasaktan talaga ako. muntik na nga ako maglayas nun eh, matutulog ako sa isang kaibigan..kaso hindi siya nag-reply. toink! o.O hahaha:) simula nun, malamig na ang pakikitungo ko.

kaya gusto ko laging mapag-isa at mag-isip isip sa buhay ko.

stress

ive been stressed this year. take note, hindi lang weeks...kasisimula pa lang ng taon, stressful na sa part ko.

unang stress: final report sa farm records and accounting. instead na written exam, magrereport kami. idedefend pa. large ruminant pa ang napuntang report sa amin. accounting pare..hindi ko pinangarap maging accountant..at kahit kelan ayoko. ang hirap. grabe ung stress ko nung mga panahon na yan. natutulog na ko ng umaga. waah! pero tapos na!

pangalawang stress: case report sa special pathology. basta, nakakastress. not to mention, hindi naging maganda ang pagdefend namin sa ikinamatay ng tiger. darn! babagsak pa ata ako. :( T.T.. nakakastress kaya yung araw na yun. may class ako ng 9:10-10:40, 10:50-12:30, exam sa physio ng 12:30-1:00, tapos defense na ng 1-4. hindi na nga ako naglunch eh. pero, wala..manhid na ata ako ng araw na yun. :(

sadness

akala ko ok kami. mali pala. tama nga ang sinabi nila, mahirap mahalin ang taong hindi ka naman mahal o gusto. nung narinig ko yun, sabi ko sa isip ko...ouch!

dati lagi kaming nag-uusap. parang ang saya pa nga eh. pero, nahinto un. tuwing nakikita ko siya, natutuwa ako. pero...bihira na kami mag-usap.

ang gulo. ang mahirap pa nun, pag kaibigan mo ang mahal mo. ouch talaga.

...natatakot akong malaman niya ang nararamdaman ko. pano kung ireject niya ko, handa ba ko? crush pa niya ata ung kaibigan ko. ouch!!!:(

...iniiwasan ko na nga siya, para medyo mawala ang nararamdaman. para bumalik ang lahat sa dati. pero pagkasama ko siya, gusto kong huminto ang mundo at oras at makasama na lang siya. corny, pero totoo.

siguro yan din ang dahilan kung bakit inom ako ng inom ng redhorse. hahahaha:) pahinga na ngayon ang atay ko, kasi exam week. hehehe:)

faith

minsan tuloy, nagagalit ako sa mundo. sa mga nangyayari ngayon. kasisimula pa lang ng taon. ang malas na. ang sama na. pero anong magagawa ko. kailangang tatagan ang loob. isa pa kasing mali sa akin, hindi ako relihiyoso. i rarely pray to God. yes, rarely. pag nagadasal siguro ako, grabe ang pangangailangan ko nun. ang sama ko.

kung nakakausap lang siguro ako ni God, kinatok na niya ang puso ko. siguro un ang kulang sa buhay ko. Faith. naniniwala ako sa kanya, pero walang faith. :(

kailangan ko ng magbago. at susubukan ko...mali, dapat kung gawin. pero mahirap mangako...lalo na kung hindi naman tutuparin.:(

Love just can be simple

but its complicated.

never expect...

dont let emotions get in the way...

God is soooo good to me. whenever im starting to fall for someone, something will happen that would make me realize... HE'S NOT THE ONE...:(

like right now.

he is such a pain in the ass

ewan. naiinis ako. basta naiinis na ko. hindi na ba siya nagsasawa sa pang-aasar sa akin?

argh!!! nakakainis talaga!!!

Because of a Text Message

i didnt sleep well last night because of a text message i've received from a good friend.

"Ah c *toot*. My crush kc sau un d lng dw nya msbi kya dndaan nya s gnun."

Yan and text message. i dont know. i feel so confused. its just a text message, pero ang daming ibig sabihin. pwedeng totoo pwedeng hindi.

nagsimula lang nung nagaasaran kami. were joking around. doing blind items. tapos hindi niya ma gets ung blind item ko. i gave him a clue. sabi ko ang clue is lagi niya kong inaasar. tapos sinend niya na ung message na yun.

but i did not believe it. but i hoped. hahaha:) yeah i like the person. but i have to stop what im feeling.

the person even told me that he looks to me like im his sister when everyone starts to tease us na baka kami ang magkatuluyan and stuffs. but anyway, who cares.

im convincing my self already that it wont work at all. and i look to him as a friend. a true friend. just like that. so i really need to stop this.

but i didnt sleep well last night. i slept 3:30am just thinking of that message. and wondering. and thinking again..oh it sucks.

but yeah i have to put aside my feelings for friendship not to ruin. :(

tanga-er ako

i sound sooOo pathetic. yesterday wasnt a good day for me. though i am happy that day. weird?! yeah i know.

i think my heart's broken. its aching. i need a cardiotonic drug. hahaha..thats over reacting.

yeah its aching. i always sleep and reading and eating. i ate alone at mcdonalds yesterday. while texting jillian and telling her how i feel. and she understands cause she's feeling the same way too. i mean she have felt it. haha

yes its still aching. but im trying to be ok. i have to accept it. i have to, like i have another choice. :(

yes i am HEARTBROKEN. and it sucks! T.T no im not crying, im just sad.:-(

im currently depressed and in love ^.^

yehey!!! we have no classes tomorrow. :D

im depressed. it sucks and ive felt really stupid! no, yes i am stupid that day! we had our prelim exam in pharmacology 2 yesterday. i failed. i didnt answer 20 pts of the exam. blanko ako sa test 2. as in walang sagot pati sa essay. i didnt study!!! T.T ugh!!!! i dont want to talk about it.

in love. i dont know what im feeling right now. its weird. i like someone when i shouldnt. actually may gusto talaga ako before, pinapangarap nga eh. kaso nung nakilala ko ung isa, parang siya ang gusto ko. ewan. hindi nga to dapat maramdaman. sounds corny but this is true, masasaktan lang ako. in the event that he'd find someone. i secretly like him. only my highschool friends knows my feeling about him. at kailangan kong handain ang sarili ko sa mga susunod na mga mangyayari. for now, he makes me smile whenever i see him. hahaha:D

next week will be our prelim. i have to study hard! on saturday we will go to batangas to celebrate the anniversary of our organization.

im in bliss

im happy today because, beside the fact that i only have two classes and it ends at 2:30, my crush said my name. hehe:) or rather he called my name. hehe:) ang babaw no?! but i have a huge crush on him.

that was it. this sem would be tough and hard. i am always tired. i eat alot and sleep alot. not to mention that its July but its still hot. i just hope the sun would hide and cool breeze would come?! i dunno, i have this terrible allergy if its really hot thats why i want a cold weather.

thats it!

(i think this blog entry is nonsense.) (above)

death penalty

recently (i think last month) President Arroyo signed a *i forgot* a paper that state that death penalty is banned(?), which i find ridiculous.

i mean, ok its against human rights. taking a persons life only God can do that. but what about the victims? cases like rape, murder, etc. ok so lets just re-phrase it, what if you are the victims family and you daughter was raped and killed by this ugly stupid being? dont you feel that you also want to kill that being for him to feel how your daughter feels? and when the court decided that he would be sentenced death, you were happy. you thought you find justice but then Pres. Arroyo signed the petition paper stating that death penalty was removed. so he is safe. lifetime imprisonment only.

i think living in jail wasnt like hell after all. you still have the basics: food, shelter, water, clothing. i know they also have livelihood programs, bible study/reading etc. you only miss your family but still get to see them.

some people say we should give them a second chance. second chances for me is stupid. I believed that people who did something before, would do it again. may be after a long period of time.

just look at the advantages of what death penalty would do:
1. there would be a decrease in crime rate. its obvious.

so ok i can only think of one reason right now... but wait i thought of another reason...

2. there would be justice. if you were proven guilty, you should face the consequences. theres no one to blame but YOU. Life you take, life shall i get from you. everybody IS aware of what will happen if killed someone. you should think first before doing a crime. poverty is not the reason why did this and that. hello?!

so i can only think of 2 reasons..:)

now that death penalty is gone, im sure there would be an increase in crime rate. to think that some of the criminals are rich, they would only pay the penalty in the nick of time. tsk tsk tsk. i pity our country.

(this blog entry is the opinion of the author.)

Manny Pacquiao did it again.

last sunday Jul 2, 2006 everybody was in there homes, in front of the tv watching the event everybody esp. sports enthusiasts is waiting for. the fight between Manny "Pacman" Pacquiao and Oscar "Chololo" Larios.

to make the story short, Pacman won after 12 rounds. he did not KO Chololo. i must say Larios was tough.

and because of that he received and award from the Malacanang. The Order of Lakandula (not sure) Champion for Life together with Ms. International Precious Lara Quigaman and the 3 mountaineers who reached the summit of Mt. Everest ( Leo Oracion, Romy Garduce, and *sorry i forgot the other one*).

on November there would be a fight again between Pacman and Erik "El Terrible" Morales i think in the US.

whew..that was long. i hope yoo enjoyed reading though there are alot of wrong grammar. im not really good in english. :):)